Making Your Words Purposeful

Have you ever walked away from a conversation and regretted some of the things you said?

Or maybe you’re the type to walk away from conversations and later think about what you wish you would have said.

Orrrr maybe it’s that text message you sent in a heated frenzy. Or that comment on the Facebook thread that probably shouldn’t have seen the word “post”.

We all have times in our lives when our words have gotten us into trouble.

I am a verbal processor and sometimes I don't realize how things sound until I hear them myself.

But by then . . . it's too late and I can't get them back. 

Our words are kind of like toothpaste - once you've squeezed it out, it’s not going back in the tube. No matter how hard you try. 

As I’m sure you’ve experienced, our words can lead to some pretty cringe-worthy moments in our lives. 

However, as I’ve grown, I’ve learned to use the coaching tool "T.H.I.N.K." . (Well, at least I try). This acronym is a helpful tool you can use to determine whether a thought should become a statement:

T: Is it true?

Let’s speak the truth in love. Yes, we should tell others the truth, but we must not use truth as a weapon. Cover what the other needs to hear with kindness. Be authentic and real in your delivery, even if the message itself might be disappointing or unsettling to your listener. It takes loads of courage to be truthful.

H: Is it helpful?

Ask yourself these two questions: Will my words ultimately serve someone else? Am I providing this information to benefit others, or am I speaking out of my own self-serving nature? If you are honest, you may find some words are spoken out of anger or frustration—not out of true concern for your fellow man.

I: Is it inspiring?

Proverbs tells us that kind words are like honey, but reckless words pierce like a sword. Are your words inspiring others to rise to their own greatness and live their best life? Do the people around you want to grow because you are a source of encouragement? Stop and consider whether you use your words to cheer others on consistently. 

N: Is it necessary?

Some things are best left unsaid. We might think something is necessary to say, but is it really? Really, really? Just because we feel a certain way doesn’t make it true. Before you determine if something should be said, sit on it. Chew on it. Pray about it. 

K: Is it kind? 

Again, are we speaking this truth because we’ll feel better temporarily or to help the other long-term? Kind doesn’t mean you agree with everyone to spare their feelings. It means that when the truth is called for, you cover it in words of compassion.

When I pause before speaking - or pause before I post - and think through what I am about to say, I save myself some awkward scenarios and guilty feelings. I feel better about the words I do say as they are more supportive and are motivated by love.

Friends, start “thinking” your way to greatness. Our words have power and impact. Let’s make them purposeful.

You are amazing! Now start living like it!

Kim Anderson is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC-MHSP) and a Certified Life Professional Coach (CPLC) who loves helping others live their lives with passion and purpose. She lives with her husband and two teenagers outside of Nashville, in Franklin, Tennessee, where she loves seasons, rolling hills, and the warmth of the South. Follow Kim at www.kimanderson.life, on Instagram @kim_anderson_coaching, and on Facebook@ KimAndersonLifeCoaching to learn more about what she offers.