Give Yourself Space To Do The Work
I was working with a client who had clear goals for her life. She knew what she wanted, but she just couldn’t make it happen. She was spinning her wheels over and over and getting no traction.
She came to me one day, dejected, sharing that she just wanted to throw in the towel on these goals and wanted to give up trying for them. Reaching her goals wasn't happening the way she thought it would.
As we sat down and looked at her patterns, her crazy schedule, her poor boundaries (with herself and others), and her lack of self-care, it was evident that her perspective needed some shifting. She was telling herself two lies (lies that I often succumb to as well 🤦♀️)...
Lie #1- I can reach my goals without changing my current habits and patterns. (If nothing changes, nothing changes.)
Lie #2- Change should happen overnight. (It doesn't.)
The bottom line is this...life is too short to stay stuck. But sometimes we stay stuck without realizing why. We need to give ourselves space to do the work.
If you’re someone who struggles with giving yourself space (I’ve totally been guilty of this!) here are three steps to help you make that happen:
STEP 1: ALLOW TIME TO OBSERVE
Notice the relationships in your life. Are they bringing you up or bringing you down? Do you feel known, loved, and seen, or do you feel negative about yourself when you are around certain family members or friends?
Notice the patterns in your life. When do you feel most energized? When do you feel most drained? Where do you find yourself sabotaging your growth, and when do you feel most on purpose? And, notice your environment. When do you feel most relaxed? When do you feel most on edge?
It's easy to go through life on auto-pilot. In order to move in the direction we want to, we need to identify where we are stuck and be mindful of our circumstances.
STEP 2: ALLOW TIME TO FEEL
It's also easy to go through life on auto-pilot with our emotions. We can't slay our goals if we're not aware of how our emotions are impacting us. Emotions are important. They're like the dashboard on a car, letting us know if we need fuel, or we're going too fast. Emotions like anger, fear, hurt, sadness, loneliness, guilt, and shame tell us a story. If we drown them out so we don't have to feel them, they only get bigger and take more energy from us.
Give yourself space to feel all the feelings. Let them be a teacher, letting you know what it is that you need. Emotions only last 90 seconds on average. Notice them, name them, and learn from them.
STEP 3: ALLOW TIME TO PLAN
The truth is, unless you do something different, nothing will change. Before jumping in, make sure you've given yourself space to think about what you need to do in order to be successful. What needs to shift in order for you to have time to focus on yourself?
What boundaries might you need to set in order to create margin?
What sources of accountability do you need around you in order to stay on track?
"A goal without a plan is just a wish." - Antoine de Sainte-Exupery
Change doesn't happen overnight, nor should our healing. It's a process and a journey. Instead of pressuring yourself to have it all figured out, give yourself space to do the work. Give yourself permission to take it slowly, but purposefully.
If you’re someone who is ready to give yourself space to do the work but are just looking for a place to start, I’m thrilled to let you know that doors have once again opened for my Get Unstuck Group Coaching.
Group coaching is powerful for so many reasons — the price point is less than working with a counselor 1:1, the support you receive from walking alongside other women is astounding, and the life-change that comes with learning from one another is so impactful.
This six-week program will help you focus on self-care, strengths, personalities, purpose, values, passions, goals, and accountability in a small, group, live Zoom format.
It will also give you tangible tools to help you dive deeper into your life without fear and anxiety in the driver’s seat.
In the Get Unstuck Group Coaching, we’ll walk step-by-step through how to get clear about what you want your life to look like and have an action plan on exactly how to get there.
The structure of the group coaching looks like this:
Weekly LIVE Group Coaching Calls
Milestone & Topic Specific Deliverable Tools
Hands-on, Guided Accountability
You’ll walk away from the six weeks feeling empowered, self-aware, focused, free, energized, confident, and grateful for your own life!
We kick off the FALL 2021 Get Unstuck Group Coaching LIVE via Zoom. Spots fill up fast, so grabs yours now.
Can’t wait to have you join me and let’s work together to get you living the life you know you’ve been created for!
You're amazing! Start living like it!!
Kim Anderson is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC-MHSP) and a Certified Life Professional Coach (CPLC) who loves helping others live their lives with passion and purpose. She lives with her husband and two teenagers outside of Nashville, in Franklin, Tennessee, where she loves seasons, rolling hills, and the warmth of the South. Follow Kim at www.kimanderson.life, on Instagram @kim_anderson_life, and on Facebook@ KimAndersonLifeCoachingto learn more about what she offers.