The Happiness Factor — Kim Anderson

Do you remember playing games with your girlfriends at recess? I remember playing games like M.A.S.H. This game was designed to predict who you would marry, how many kids you would have, what type of car you would drive, and if you would live in a Mansion, Apartment, Shack, or House. I never focused on the details of these predictions, but I did know that I wanted to be “happy.”

Happiness. It is something we all long for, yet it seems so difficult to find. We search for it in food. In relationships. In retail stores. In restaurants. In wine bottles. In social media posts. And these things often do offer a temporary reprieve from pain. But long-term, we come up empty. The hollow part we tried to fill with “happy” still remains.

When we have more resources than ever, why are so many struggling to find authentic happiness? When we are struggling to be happy, we are stuck and not living our best lives.

Here are three truths regarding happiness that may be hard to read, but are so important to understand:*

Truth: 1 Your Happiness Is a Choice

Friends, we all wake up every day and have a choice. I know that sounds harsh, but it is true. Your happiness begins and ends in your mind. If you tell yourself you are having a bad day, then you are having a bad day. If you tell yourself no one likes you, then others’ words and actions will be filtered through that belief. If you tell yourself you are unattractive, then, yep, you’ll feel sad. We have to choose to capture our thoughts before they are off and running like a runaway train.

Truth: 2 Your Happiness Is Your Responsibility

Guess what? You are responsible for your own happiness. Not your family. Not your friends. Not your spouse and, certainly, not your kids. Imagine the power you are giving away when you expect someone else to manage your emotions.

Truth: 3 Your Happiness Comes When You Let Go of What You Can’t Change

Most of our stress comes from unmet expectations. When life falls short of our (often unrealistic and unexpressed) desires, we are disappointed. We must examine our expectations and use wisdom to clarify what is in our power to do and what likely can’t be changed.

Disappointment is just disappointment. It is okay to be disappointed. Hope, but don’t expect. Lower expectations keep us from spiraling into sadness when a situation doesn’t work out the way we think it should.

Instead, be in the moment. Live in today. Be grateful for your blessings. Serve those in need. Love God and love others.

You are amazing! Start living like it!

*This content is not advice for individuals struggling with moderate to severe depression. Please engage in self-love and self-care by seeing a local mental health professional if you feel hopeless or have lost interest in things that once brought you pleasure. I am rooting for you and want you to feel your best!