Shifting Your Mindset
The Pain of Organization
The work I do largely deals with helping others get unstuck. Whether they feel stuck in their personal lives, at work, in relationships, or with their health, the core of “stuckness” is often faulty beliefs.
To get unstuck, we must evaluate our mindset and exchange our faulty beliefs for these three truths:
Starting off Strong
We are an airline family, and one of the beautiful perks is the opportunity to fly standby when seats are open on a flight. It isn’t always glamorous. We have countless stories of being stuck in an airport for hours, but many times, it works in our favor. While most people plan vacation travel well in advance, we operate differently. When we have time to travel, we pack our carry-on bags and then hop on the plane that’s open. It feels a bit like the show The Amazing Race, and our approach to travel always makes my “planner” friends cringe.
3 Ways to Move Forward
I don’t know about you, but I always feel energized and motivated this time of year. The pressure of the holidays is behind me, the decorations are put away, and I am able to be inspired by the open pages of the new year. I have always gotten giddy about the opportunity to set goals for the year, dream big, and step out in new directions, even before I worked in the field of personal growth (yes, I am a self-development nerd). Now, it’s a gift to create space for my goals, as well as those I work with.
Your Marriage Matters
If we feel stuck, it’s often because we were created to do something more. The “more” could be as big as moving toward adoption, running a marathon, starting a business, or transitioning to a different career. Or, it could be more subtle, like starting a new morning routine, finishing a book, or inviting friends over for coffee more often. Growth doesn’t have to look like scaling Mount Everest. It could simply be turning fifteen degrees from where you are and stepping out in a different direction. Whether our goals are big or small, one thing is true: we are all created to grow.
Decluttering Your Life
I was recently on a phone call with a friend who is a marriage counselor. I had a counseling client struggling in her marriage, and I recommended that the couple consider working with this friend and colleague. I was thrilled when she and her husband agreed. The couple signed a release statement, allowing my colleague and I to consult with each other in hopes of working as a team. While recent events stacked the odds against this couple’s relationship, I still had hope. I had hope that once they began doing the work together, things would shift. These two wonderful people had somehow become disconnected through the challenges of life.
Holiday Survival Guide
Six years ago, while moving into our new home, we stumbled upon an estate sale at a neighbor’s house. Even though we were knee deep in boxes of our own stuff, we couldn’t resist popping in and checking it out. While most of the items didn’t fit our needs, we were excited to find a seven-piece set of pots and pans. We were anxious to get rid of a well-loved set we had used since our wedding, almost fifteen years prior, and this was an affordable replacement.
3 Truths About Making a Mistake
I don’t know about you, but this time of year is enough to make anyone’s normal anxiety flare off the charts. Between the shopping, parties, envelope stuffing, school performances, wrapping, class party gifts, decorations, baking, and travel, it’s amazing that we are able to enjoy this season at all. And that’s sad, because it completely takes our focus off of the one we are supposed to be celebrating, and leaves us feeling more like Scrooge.
Gratitude and Thanksgiving
I have a friend I haven’t seen in a long time. Though we live in the same neighborhood and were even in the same church small group for a while, our paths don’t currently cross in our daily routine. We’d been trying to connect for a while, but aligning our schedules seemed to be an enormous challenge.
I was excited when I had a window of time open up, so before I started my work day of back-to-back clients, I reached out to her via messenger and asked if she could meet for coffee the next day. She responded that she was free, and I was thrilled that it was going to work out. I jumped into work and didn’t think another thing of it—until I checked my phone after my last client.
The Secret Weapon of Feedback
Thanksgiving reminds me of how important it is to be grateful. It’s a special time to reflect on all we have been given and the blessings we have. And, cultivating gratitude is the perfect way to prepare our hearts for the craze of the coming Christmas season. I often find myself struggling to focus more on the gift of Jesus than on shopping for everyone on my list, creating Christmas magic around my house, or making time for holiday events. I don’t know about you, but the business of the season completely gets in the way of feeling grateful.
Let’s claim a thankful heart now, as we are about to jump into the chaos of the holidays.
Dealing with Disappointment
Feedback. It can be scary. We cringe or tense up the moment we realize someone is going to share his perspective of us, our words, or our performance. We can feel exposed and vulnerable as shame washes over us and sets our nervous system on fire.
Feedback, however, can move us to places we never thought we could go. If we can courageously embrace feedback and the value it brings, it can get us unstuck.
You can move toward all you are made for by embracing these three truths when you have the opportunity to receive feedback:
30 Day Blackout by Stacy Jagger
Growing up, I had a friend who stayed upset with me. I never seemed to meet her expectations or needs. The biggest problem was that I didn’t know what they were. She never told me. She would just get frustrated, passive-aggressive, and, ultimately, ignore me. When I would inquire about what was wrong, she would reply, “You should know.”
If you know me well, you know I despise the word should.
In retrospect, I see our friendship would have been stronger if she had let me know what she needed.
Embrace the Unknown by Kyleen Baptiste
Back in the early days of electronics, in the 1920–30s, families would huddle around the radio and share the experience of listening to their favorite programs. Then in the 1940s, television became the social centerpiece of the family. These TV shows were not daily events, rather, they were special occasions when the family gathered ‘round for a short break after a long day of work, a respite from life to huddle up on the couch and laugh together, cry together, and share the experience of being entertained together.
You're Awesome! Admit It Already! by Chance Scoggins
I remember going whitewater rafting with a large group years ago, and we were lucky enough to get the most seasoned raft guide. He’d lived there on the banks of the river for 30 years, skin weathered by the sun, hair to prove it, and he knew every inch of those level ___ rapids. We knew we were in good hands. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
As we loaded in the raft we began asking him about what made the ‘best’ group to guide down the river. Trying to get it right, we guessed ‘physically fit’, thinking physical stamina played a significant role in the success of maneuvering the raft. To our surprise, he said that had little to do with it.
Emodiversity...What Is It? by Lori Zabka
I had an interesting conversation with a friend the other day. He’s an uncommonly gifted singer. Even among great singers, he stands out. He can’t help it. He’s just awesome.
Not wanting to be perceived as having a big ego or trying to outshine anyone, he said he sometimes dumbs himself down in order to fit in with the average ability in the room. And when you give him a compliment, he likely won’t receive your words. They’ll come back to you like a boomerang, as if he’s ordinary, and somehow YOU are the amazing one.
Being Good Every Day by Sarah Nuse
We know that our emotional health is tied closely to our physical health, and visa versa. (Food/Mood; Mind/Gut) We’ve heard that those with a “cheerful” disposition have stronger immune systems, recover faster from setbacks, and even live longer…..but recently, an amazing discovery was made.
Have you ever heard of the word: Emodiversity? Hmm….Does it sound like I just made it up? I take no credit! Researchers at Cornell coined “Emodiversity” after their study revealed some surprising results. Simply stated, they found that a “diverse spectrum of positive emotions reduces inflammation inside the body.” Additionally, the study found that a limited range of positive emotions did not seem to reduce systemic inflammation.
When "What if..." Strikes
I was working out at my Crossfit gym, a very normal morning for me with my usual crew of people that I have grown to adore over the years. At my gym, you walk into what I call beautiful chaos, in that things are organized enough, but not in a perfect order. There is a gritty feeling that instantly makes you want to work hard and sweat. There is a rubber floor where chalk from the previous workout is scattered and chalkboards adorn the wall with workouts written in a rainbow of colors.
Is This Working for You?
What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
Listening to speaker and author Bob Goff speak about fear got me to thinking. “Fear is a punk,” he said. And I knew he was right: fear isa punk. It paralyzes us and tricks us into believing lies that keep us stuck.
I believe fear—and the anxiety it brings—is the enemy’s most powerful weapon. It keeps us from living out our true potential or sharing our gifts with the world.
How to Hold a Grudge
Why is it we often don’t want to ask for help? Sometimes it feels like admitting we are weak. Sometimes we don’t want to be a burden. Sometimes it seems like everyone else has it all together, so it is embarrassing to admit we don’t.
Instead, we keep it in, stuff our feelings, and push harder.
It’s as if we walk through life carrying a bag of bricks over our shoulder. It’s exhausting, yet we keep going—even when others offer to help. Instead of sharing our load, we decline and keep carrying our bricks. Somewhere, we bought the lie that we have to carry them alone.
Is It Too Late to Find My Purpose?
I get it. You want her to know how badly she hurt you. I would too.
You want her to know the damage is severe. Absolutely. It is so severe.
You want her to understand your pain.
That is just the way it is. Hurt people, hurt people. And they don’t look back; instead, the cycle continues.
The truth is, forgiveness isn’t about condoning another’s hurtful actions or forgetting what happened. Rather, it is about freeing ourselves from living each day inside the resentful memory.
Do you ever feel like something is missing? Does it seem as if you are going through the motions but not living a life of purpose? You want more, and you need more. But you can’t figure out what it could be. You don’t quite know how to get there.
Guess what? Your hunch is correct. You were created for more. You do have a purpose here on this earth. But as long as you are unsure of what it is, you are robbed of your brilliance.
Maybe you are just out of college and you don’t know what you want to do with your life. You got a degree, but now you are not sure where to get a job. Perhaps you are a new mother. You are so grateful to have your child, yet you long to be making a difference in the world as well.